Is there a word for happy AND scared?

I am terrible at taking selfies. I wanted to try to get a full body picture to compare a before and after, but I can’t seem to get a good angle for my belly! However, this turned out ok, so I thought I would roll with it.

I am the type of person who needs lots of details and I want to be over prepared for anything, but I have to tell you, this whole process has not been doing it for me! Between waiting over a month just to make sure I needed to surgery and not knowing what was wrong to everything else being done over the phone, I still feel a little uncertain and unprepared. I really wish they would at least send me paperwork: lists of some sort that I could use for before, during, and after surgery!

Deep down, I know that I don’t NEED anything special and I will be able to manage whether I am prepared or not. But I think I process things by making lists, checking them several times, researching every body else’s experiences, predicting what could go wrong, and basically driving everyone around me crazy, I’m sure!

But, I bought big support undies way back in July (I made sure they were pretty and colorful), I have created a little caddy beside my bed with a thermometer, ibuprofen, Tylenol, and stool softener, just in case. I created charts to keep track of my meds, my exercise, and my bowel movements. I have a list of shows I want to watch, books I want to read, and music I want to listen to. I have ice packs in the freezer and a heating pad nearby. I even found a little throw pillow to hold against my incision when I need to cough! I sound prepared…right??

I feel like I am still missing stuff, but then I tell myself I will be going back to work 2 weeks later, it’s not like I won’t be up and moving around right away. I guess better safe than sorry, right?

Do you think I am being crazy? Would you be this prepared? Or do you think it’s because I have been waiting since June for this to happen and I have been online too much? Let me know in the comments!!

I will keep you all updated…wish me luck 🙂



  1. 4shafferkids

    I don’t think you can be over prepared, maybe too much research can lead to anxiety though. On a personal note (for all to see on here!) My bowels have worked better since having my hysterectomy! Good luck, I love you Sis!

    Liked by 1 person

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