Change is hard…but necessary to create a fulfilling life.
THE BEAUTY OF CHANGE
I am a BIG fan of routines and schedules. I find comfort in knowing what I am going to do each day and use my planner to help schedule the future almost religiously. Even though I don’t always follow my schedules to a T, I do like to have a basic outline of what I expect myself to accomplish each day. This allows me time to think about other things and not spend half the day wondering what I should do.
This doesn’t mean that I am not spontaneous (to a degree). Being an introvert, I do prefer to stay home alone, but I will allow myself the spontaneous moments of hanging out with friends or going somewhere that wasn’t planned. I enjoy doing these things not because it makes me comfortable, but precisely because it DOESN’T make me comfortable.
Learning to embrace those things that make me uncomfortable has been key to growing into the woman I am today. When I look back to my most unhappy times, it was always during times of too much routine. As a stay at home mom, my life was ruled by other people’s routines and expectations of me. This was of my own doing, and, again, I found comfort in being reliable and fitting into these routines. When I went back to college shortly after my last daughter was born, I was definitely taking a risk and upending everything I had created at that point, but it was the best decision I could have made. I took chances, learned more about myself and the world, and created new routines. The change was scary, but it impacted my entire life.
The thing about making changes in your life, no matter how big or small, is that it WILL impact your entire life. That can be scary. We get used to thinking one way, doing things one way, being a certain person. The people around us also get used to us being that person and thinking that way. To really embrace change in yourself means that you will be changing the comfort of those around you, too. This can hold us back from making changes sometimes. People prefer changes when they are making them, not when others are creating the change for them. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t further yourself with changing.
Quitting your job for something entirely new, moving out of your parent’s home, getting a divorce, going back to school…these are just examples of changes that can better your situation, but make those around you uncomfortable. While I am against the current mode of thinking that it never matters what other people are feeling, you should just be completely selfish, I do think that you need to embrace the fact that your life is YOUR journey and no one else can live it for you, therefore you need to make changes you feel are necessary. And, with love and kindness, show those around you that you are not leaving them behind (unless that is your goal), and help them to see the good within your choices.
CHANGE IS HARD…AND SCARY
The reason that change is so hard, and that people tend to think of it as unnecessary or bad, is because it forces you to come to terms with what wasn’t working in your life. A lot of people think that change is only good when it comes from something bad, but you can easily make changes while things are going good. The only way you will ever “level up” or begin your journey into becoming who you are meant to be, is by changing what you are doing now.
Change is scary…to you and those around you. We become comfortable in what we are currently doing, and those who never change are usually too afraid to reach outside of that comfort zone. They tell themselves that they are perfectly fine the way things are. The problem with thinking this way is that, as humans, we are meant to grow. We are meant to want and do more. That is why we have dreams and goals. The only way to reach our goals is by changing what we are doing now. If it wasn’t scary, it wouldn’t be worth it.
The hard parts of change are the parts that make you resilient and that show you that you are making the right choices. Even if you make a bad choice, or the change doesn’t work to your advantage, it forms your character and shows you that you can handle failures and bad choices, making you feel stronger.
When we really want something, the scarier it seems, the more you need to work toward it. You will prove to yourself and those around you that your choices are meant for you alone. Yes, that new job will affect co-workers you like, moving out will make your parents sad, and getting a divorce will change your children’s lives, but…the new job will give you a better life, your new apartment will turn you into the adult you are ready to become (and your parents will be proud), and your divorce will show your children that you value yourself enough to be treated better.
The changes you THINK you are ready for…you ARE ready for! That is why they are in your mind to begin with! Yes, it is hard. Yes, it is scary. Yes, it is worth it.
Embrace changes in your life. Don’t allow yourself to become stagnant. Create goals for yourself and move past your fear and the fear that others place on you. Make those changes with purpose and with intention.
I am still a big fan of healthy habits, routines, and scheduled life planners…but I will also embrace changes as they come and find the best of myself come from it.
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