I don’t know if there is any interest in any of this, but I figured I have been out of touch for quite a while and I need to get back into the swing of things, and if you are a regular reader, you deserve to know what has been going on with me. Let’s dive in…
As you may remember, I had a total hysterectomy along with a removal of my fallopian tubes and one of my ovaries in October. (You can read more about my hysterectomy journey Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four and Part Five here). I was also in immense back pain since my surgery, although I wasn’t sure if it was due to my surgery. At my follow up appointment, my Dr. said I was healing well and did not seem concerned with my back pain. I went to my family physician for my yearly visit and mentioned my back pain. I had xrays and ended up at a chiropractor.
My first visit to my chiropractor helped me so much. When I say I was in pain, it was unbearable. I couldn’t stay in one position for very long, I was having trouble sleeping, and I started to get depressed. I wondered how people who are in chronic pain handle it day to day. I tried all the normal things…ice, heat, elevating my legs, stretching, not stretching, ibuprofin, and even a strong CBD. Nothing helped.
My chiropractor said that my pelvis was dislocated in 4 areas (I didn’t even know there were 4 areas that could be out of place!). My vertebrae were each twisted to the right from my pelvis to about the middle of my back. He said that I probably had a pinched nerve, causing the numbness and tenderness in my butt and legs. Even though I felt relief each time I went, I was still in a lot of pain on a regular basis.
I began working on my core, glutes, hamstrings, and quads, trying to strengthen and build it all up. In the meantime, I have been feeling weird sensations in the area where my surgery took place. My chiropractor said it is possible that nerves were severed and that they are growing back, and that it can take years.
So, even though I have been diligently working on healing myself, and have plans to call a physical therapist next and try massage to help with the pain, I am still in pain every single day.
Dealing with my pain only exasperated my typical seasonal depression, although at times it did distract me from my usual mental numbness.
Many things were happening this fall/winter which only made my “normal” depression worse. My stepfather lost a leg, then another, and then passed away at Christmas time. Because of Covid restrictions, I never got to say goodbye, and that bothers me still. Then, there was some miscommunication at work that almost led me into not only unemployment, but also the loss of the whole family that I have worked with for that past nine years. This was all happening at the same time. My niece was also going through bran surgery at this time, and I just felt that I had no control of anything around me, much less my emotions.
This was the point where I realized that my advice on this blog seems outdated. I watch as my grown children struggle in ways I never had to, and there is nothing they can do about it. I have felt discouraged because just “getting a better job” or “not eating out as much,” isn’t going to help pay for childcare, medical bills, prescriptions, or even put gas in your car. We are living in times that are a struggle for our young adults (and every demographic, honestly) to succeed.
The last thing I want is for my advice to seem like something out of touch older people may give.
As you can see, I have been struggling mentally and physically. This is why I have been absent for so long. I wish I knew where to go from here. I love writing this blog, and have wondered if I should change focus, or double down and really find new ways to help young adults survive in today’s world. I would love if you could give me your advice in the comment section, on Facebook, Instagram, or even through email on my contact me page.
Thank you for listening and for being there